Good morning and Merry Christmas, everyone!
It's been ages since I've hung around here, and yet again I have nothing to submit today LOL, except for this journal ofc.
If any of you are wondering where I've been, I've been busy working. The work itself is a contract I've made with the campus I graduated from... it's like some sort of appreciation when you have a scholarship. I do believe that they got rid of that contract for the new students in the academic year, tho, which is good. Campus name is Universitas Pelita Harapan. Yes, I'm Indonesian, but that doesn't make me have a high standard of nationality. Indonesians, who are easily angered by cosplayers who shows their legs at a con, are disgusting creatures who deserve to live in the deep jungles instead of the city.
... too far?
don't take this to heart, though, I know some of you are smarter and open-minded than that lol.
Anyways, I'm not the type who usually share about this, but I felt like writing something since I haven't drawn anything :')) Here goes what has been happening in 4 years. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? :v
My university life has never has been smooth.
If you know me quite well, then you are familiar with my geeky tendencies. If there's a con, I'll ask where it is. If there's an artbook sale, I'll ask about what it is too and how much. In the end, I didn't buy them because I lack the budget to possess such things LOL. I am the best definition of Japanophile; someone who loves the culture to death but have little to no money to purchase collectibles. Of course I'm not that type of a weeb. I don't go around screaming "rasengan" and run like my arms are tied behind my back..... at least not anymore since I've graduated from grade 10 LOL. Yeah, I'm weird.
I'm the type of Japanophile who likes to share things and knowledge (read: myths, lores, etc.) revolving the series I'm watching/reading with a group of equally geeky people. I'm pretty sure that it was no coincidence my campus has one club that fits into that criteria. Geeky, Japanese-culture-loving, friendly and most of all GEEKY. This one, however, is a little different from the other campus's community. While Binus' Nippon Club is huge, and UMN's J-Cafe consist of mostly gamers, Nihon Utopia is a very small club that consist of geeks who just enjoy their time around with each other.
At first glance, they were quite friendly, but of course this club is not something you think it would be. As you get to know them better, you start to realize there's just something that is not right within the club itself. There's problem here and there. Bullying, alienating, miscommunication, group within a group, etc. Knowing all this, I tried fighting for them with a bunch of other friends. So I became the club's vice, leader and secretary (lol, believe me this is just because they're short on human resources). I particularly did not enjoy being in that position. I was bruised, people expect highly of me, but I was not even guided. They gave me the feeling of "I don't want you to be the leader, but since nobody else is going up, you're staying". It's horrible. And who gave me these kinds of feeling? The very same group of friends I became close with. I know they meant it for the good of me, it was a very difficult phase. Yet there's one thing that I could not stand within them.
As I slowly reflect to God, I needed to make an extreme moral decision inside of the club one day. If you would like to know what it is, then please note me or something, I prefer not to disclose what it is. This cost me a lot of things, but I have no single regrets that I did. The more I think of it, the more right it seemed that I made that decision. This isn't the first time too, after that decision to expel a few members, people tend to blame me for that one decision I made anw. Long story short, new batch came along and there's some disagreement between me and them. I didn't get along very well with them in the end; part of it is me and part of it is also them. I used to be extra comfy with everyone, though, but since things were judged one-sidedly I had to make the decision and that decision was to go out of the club. From there on, I only wish their new leader the best.
Kind of sad that most of my uni life has been revolving around that, huh? All that in the span of three... four years...
But I do believe that somewhere behind all this God must've planned and He knew this will happen. For that very reason, I should not regret any kinds of friendship lost over a moral or questionable matters. I do admit I look back a lot and as much as it hurts, it also feels like it's the best decision I've made.
Oh, about work...
Since it's a contract from campus, they need me to work for the campus as well. It's a thing about UPH, you're supposed to work for them for a set amount of years. For my scholarship, it cost me one whole year to work for them. What made it different this time, though, I was not employed inside of the campus. I was employed by the smallest sister school in the Pelita Harapan Foundation. That school is called Sekolah Lentera Harapan.
During the interview.... good gods... the interview was the scariest part of all so far. Of course, I've cried and frustrate myself over customers while I'm working but none of those felt nothing compared to the interview. It was hella scary. One of the interviewers had to ask me about my faith in Christ and I flipped over and I might have failed all of my Religion and Theology teachers on the spot. Being interviewed about something you never actually shared is a very frightful thing. However, as thing progresses, I'm accepted (again, because they're short on human resources HAHAHA, this is a thing...) and started to work there. Everything I learned from the internship three-four months ago did not come into use too much, though, since I'm assigned to be more of an administration than in design. Although honestly I don't mind being placed there, regardless of what I enjoy in designing.
What do I do in administration? I serve to present you children from their Foster Parents Programme. What's the program? Basically a program where you can take up a child to be your foster child for a year and support their education by donating a sum of money. I'm not in charge of the calculation, of course, rather I'm in charge of counting how many children still needs a foster parent. Administration job, is of course, different from designing. Instead of asking people about what they think, you're giving them advice about what they should do. You resolve their problems too, but not visually; you solve their problems by taking literal actions. Of course this isn't completely new for me, given I've gotten the experience from a bad organization before who told me to do everything when I've done so. You're being demanded differently from making designs basically. I don't mind it, though, since this new experience would come into use some day.
Work would last for another 9 months counting from the end of December. During this time, I plan (and have been praying quietly) to go to Japan for my Graduate degree.
If you're thinking "that's cos she just wants to go to Japan because it's Japan" well uh, you're not.... wrong... HAHAHA
I wanted to spend my Bachelors there but I was running out of time too and my parents were quite on the edge back then, so I opted to look for scholarships now. It's going to be a long holiday before I get myself together again. I really hope I can get the scholarship.
Anyhow, please forgive my rant :'3
I know that some of these might be heartfelt to you and might be offensive to some watchers, but be assured that I was not thinking bad about any of them. This is just my reflection of the year... because my dad is out working... on a Christmas day... orz
WORRY NOT, FOR I SHALL PICK HIM UP FOR DINNER LATER.
until later then, I wish you all Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Listening to: CPU and AC roaring in the background
Reading: When God writes Your Love Story (Eric/Leslie Ludy)
Watching: Walking with Dinosaurs
Playing: Age of Ishtaria
Eating: nothing at the moment
Drinking: Mineral Water